Awe 2013

As 2012 is coming to a close, we all start thinking about New-Year's resolutions. Those empty promises we make in order for us to feel better about the year ahead. Allow me to look back on last year:

#1 I will stop smoking and drink less
* I invented smrinking

#2 I will swear less
* I work with fucktards

#3 I will study harder & party less
* I'm repeating 3 subjects, but on the upside - my legs have never looked better (#moshpitworkout)

#4 I will spend my money wisely
* Concert Tickets - best diet in SA

As above evidence proves, I am hopeless, so I have concurred: Screw New-Year's resolutions.
And I made this playlist instead - Some of my favorite songs from local muzos of the past year, plus a few old favorites.

Thou must listen to all & appreciate each individual awesomeness. In no particular order, allow me to present the best talent South Africa has to offer:

#1 Voodoo Child - Taboo
     http://www.myspace.com/voodoochildband/music/songs/taboo-47821696

#2 Misericord - Another End
     http://www.myspace.com/misericord/music/songs/another-end-26268517

#3 Fuzigish - Maximum
     http://youtu.be/qDdGVc-jRDU

#4 Man as Machine - Burnout
     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyK7DCdOWOY&feature=player_embedded

#5 Facing the Gallows - Hey I can see my house from here
     http://www.myspace.com/facingthegallows/music/songs/hey-i-can-see-my-house-from-here-31658106

#6 Taxi Violence - Devil n' Pistol
     http://www.myspace.com/taxiviolence/music/songs/devil-39-n-pistol-56394132

#7 Hog Hoggidy Hog - The Naked Song
     http://www.myspace.com/hoghoggidyhog/music/songs/naked-24266894

#8 The Sleepers - She is my drinking problem
     http://www.myspace.com/thesleepersband/music/songs/she-is-my-drinking-problem-27043565

#9 Pestroy - Open Minded?
     http://www.myspace.com/pestroy/music/songs/open-minded-49209324

#10 Misled - Just One Night
       http://www.myspace.com/misledno/music/songs/just-one-night-17953907

#11 The Vendetta Cartel - Spirit of '97
       http://www.myspace.com/thevendettacartel/music/songs/spirit-of-97-46708304

#12 Dead Alphabet - Eat You Alive
       http://www.myspace.com/deadalphabet/music/songs/eat-you-alive-80024710

#13 The Narrow - Lonely Lonely
       http://www.myspace.com/thenarrowza/music/songs/lonely-lonely-26397620

#14 Knave - Hollow Chamber
       http://youtu.be/vwIT-5meuBI

#15 Laurie Levine - Kites
       http://www.myspace.com/laurielevine/music/songs/kites-53066005

#16 Die Heuwels Fantasties - Leja
       http://youtu.be/A8y6RhgktNc

#17 Farryl Purkiss - A Million Grains of Sand
       http://www.myspace.com/purkissmusic/music/songs/a-million-grains-of-sand-56978595

#18 Fokofpolisiekar - As jy met vuur speel sal jy brand
       http://www.myspace.com/fokofpolisiekarband/music/songs/maak-of-braak-explicit-40137673

#19 Desmond and the Tutus - Peter
      http://www.myspace.com/desmondandthetutus/music/songs/peter-23526544

#20 The Plastics - Dirty Dancing
        http://www.myspace.com/theplasticsband/music/songs/dirty-dancing-43091165

#21 Mr Cat and the Jackal - The Rain came Pouring
       http://www.myspace.com/mrcatthejackal/music/songs/the-rain-came-pouring-the-flood-pt-1-89680241
   
#22 Haggis & Bong - Spandex (It's a privilege, not a right)
       http://www.myspace.com/haggisandbong/music/songs/spandex-its-a-privilege-not-a-right-31259286

#23 Van Coke Kartel - Dis 'n Land
       http://youtu.be/vGdSyK81-U0

#24 The Dirty Skirts - Homewrecker
       http://www.myspace.com/thedirtyskirts/music/songs/homewrecker-27701448

#25 Sacrifist - Unforgiven Insanity
      http://www.myspace.com/sacrifistband/music/songs/unforgiven-insanity-18499256

#26 Gross Misconduct - Abbadon
       http://www.myspace.com/grossmisconductmetal/music/songs/abaddon-25716624

#27 Auriol Hays - Zero gravity
       https://soundcloud.com/auriolhays/15-zero-gravity

#28 Wrestlerish - Sleep
       http://www.myspace.com/wrestlerish/music/songs/sleep-56441139

#29 aKing - Guilty as Sin
       http://www.myspace.com/alex93music/music/songs/guilty-as-sin-40137781

#30 Starseed - Love's War
       http://www.myspace.com/starseedrock/music/songs/love-s-war-26575676

#31 The Vulcan Nerve Pinch - Epoch
       http://www.myspace.com/thevulcannervepinch/music/songs/epoch-26321890

#32 The Sick Leaves - What are you waiting for
       http://www.myspace.com/thesickleaves/music/songs/what-are-you-waiting-for-68227282

#33 Ashtray Electric - Quite Overstared
       http://www.myspace.com/ashtrayelectric/music/songs/quite-overstared-42794765

#34 Ree-Burth - Save Me
       http://soundcloud.com/ree-burth/save-me

#35 Zebra & Giraffe - The Knife
       http://youtu.be/XqNy-RM1sWU

#36 Dan Patlansky - Only an Ocean
       http://www.myspace.com/danpatlansky/music/songs/only-an-ocean-20405231

#37 Civil Twilight - Letters from the Sky
       http://www.myspace.com/civiltwilightband/music/songs/letters-from-the-sky-5563228

#38 Thieve - Last Day December
       http://www.myspace.com/thieveband/music/songs/last-day-december-37936569

#39 Colli and the Rockets - Harvey
       https://soundcloud.com/colli-and-the-rockets/colli-and-the-rockets-harvey

#40 Red Huxley - My Own Way
       https://soundcloud.com/redhuxley/my-own-way

#41 Woodstock Mafia - Electric Light
       http://youtu.be/C8SLDs5j1Vg

#42 Running with Scissors - Losing Faith
       http://www.myspace.com/runningwithscissorsgirlband/music/songs/losing-faith-19921222

#43 City Bowl Mizers - Tease
       http://www.myspace.com/thecitybowlmizers/music/songs/teaze-26620063

#44 Fridge Poetry - The Clinch
       http://soundcloud.com/fridgepoetry/the-clinch

#45 Sick Cindy - Ain't Enough
       http://youtu.be/waQOlW7dpgc

#46 Old Brown and the Sherries - Old Brown and the Seventies
       http://www.myspace.com/oldbrownandthesherries/music/songs/old-brown-and-the-seventies-82503194

#47 Henry Ate - Once
       http://www.myspace.com/henryate/music/songs/once-19437735

#48 Red Tape Riot - Love is a Feeling
       https://soundcloud.com/red-tape-riot/loveisafeelingsingle

#49 Black Cat Bones - Ol' Pappa Joe
       http://www.myspace.com/blackcatboneband/music/songs/ol-39-pappa-joe-14091554

#50 Gangs of Ballet - Breaking the Silence
       https://soundcloud.com/gangs-of-ballet/breaking-the-silence-1

#51 City of Heroes - Fight or Flight
       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoNNUDqatYA

#52 Lacey May - Back to Shore
       http://www.reverbnation.com/playlist/view_playlist/-4?page_object=artist_1330393

#53 Red Helen - As Unavoidable as Death & Taxes
       http://www.myspace.com/RedHelenBand/music/songs/as-avoidable-as-death-and-taxes-75599395

#54 Jet Black Camaro - Pretty Girl Blues
       http://www.reverbnation.com/open_graph/song/15287846

#55 Get Up June - Call my words bold
      http://www.reverbnation.com/open_graph/song/14713872

#56 Fragmented Children - Phoenix
       http://www.myspace.com/fragmentedchildren/music/songs/phoenix-80067430

#57 Earl Grey and Croquet - Lady Luck
       http://www.myspace.com/earlgreyandcroquet/music/songs/lady-luck-75083996

#58 Black Handed Kites - Up
       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UmBsgfJ0zw

#56 Slashdogs - Darkest Fear
       http://www.myspace.com/theslashdogs/music/songs/darkest-fear-26754818

#57 Lark - Spider's Eye
       http://www.myspace.com/lark2006/music/songs/spiders-eye-89376977

#58 North of Winter - Belly of the Beast
        http://www.reverbnation.com/open_graph/song/13975187

#59 Southern Gypsey Queen - 99 Red Balloons
       http://youtu.be/XaP2aPuHff0

#60 Catlike Thieves - Midnight for Now
       http://www.myspace.com/catlikethieves/music/songs/midnight-for-now-49569132

#61 Josie Field - Toxicity
       http://www.myspace.com/josiefield/music/songs/toxicity-23593891

#62 Kongos - I'm only Joking
       http://www.myspace.com/kongos/music/songs/i-m-only-joking-75414546

#63 Stealing Love Jones - Kicks
       http://www.myspace.com/lovejonesband/music/songs/kicks-40251281

#64 Shotgun Tori - The Flood
       https://soundcloud.com/shotguntori/the-flood

#65 The December Streets - Fire Through the Window
        http://youtu.be/5daqw8iQ_gM

#66 Fire Through the Window - Golden
       http://www.myspace.com/firethroughthewindow/music/songs/golden-75040714

#67 Dear Reader - Great White Bear
       http://youtu.be/r_NPQN3z_e0

#68 Dogtown - Sunshine
        http://www.reverbnation.com/open_graph/song/15139517

#69 New Holland - Something to believe in
       http://youtu.be/X0OmzUrEvj8

#70 Lonehill Estate - The Ginger Song
       https://soundcloud.com/lonehillestate/lonehill-estate-the-ginger

Not wanting to end at an uneven number, I've decided to add a bonus track, 'cause one does not simply leave out Jeremy Loops.

#Bonus Track: Jeremy loops - Welcome
                         https://soundcloud.com/jeremyloops/welcome-jeremy-loops-2011


Happy smrinking this holiday - and remember: DON'T Drink & Drive - Stop & take a slukkie =)


Vredexx

The Year of the Mcflurry

Oreo Mcflurrrys are awesome. They're especially awesome at 03:00 in the morning. I believe that one should have an awesome Mcflurry moment everyday. Therefore, I shall make 2013 the year of the Mcflurry. The Year of Awesome. Now to start the Year of Awesome one has to first bid a due to the year the Mayans ran out of paper. To say my goodbyes to the year smrinking was invented, I thought I'd have my own little awards ceremony for my personal favorites from 2012. The Smrinking Awards if I may.
Now don't cry if your not on my list, just be more awesome next year =).

And the winners are...

Best Hangout - Wolves Cafe, Illovo



This quirky and offbeat little eatery on Corlett Drive is now my favorite chill spot. It's open 7 days a week and absolutely awesome. Especially the cupcakes. I'n in love with the cupcakes. Red velvet cupcakes. The spot is owned by Desmond and the Tutus frontman, Shane Durrant, with his wife Angie and mate, Greg Rom.
In addition to the random awesomeness of the menu, there are displays of jewellery, trinkets, art and music for sale. Except for late afternoon lunches of Nutella & Banana sandwiches rounded of with a sinful cupcake and cappuccino, Thursday nights are probably my favorite. Dubbed 'Howl' due to the line-up of local Indie muzos. Best chill with my idiot arty farty friends. 

Friday nights at Wolves is Lisa's fave “Beer O’Clock.” Occasionally they also host a small live indie music festival called the “What Are Wo Going To Be Doing On Sunday Mini Folk Fest.” Be sure to check this out.

My number one must do event for the coming week:
13 Dec / All Cake Must Go: The Wolves 2012 Finale

Best Upcoming Band - It's really a toss up between Bri6ge and Colli & the Rockets

So you all know that Bri6ge is my proclaimed favorite. 3 Siblings & a mate from a drowsy hole of a town called Vryheid in KZN. Xanell Fritze, Estiaan Fritze, George Fritze and Jaco Engelbrecht make up the alternative dressing of this rock band. Though they're only starting out, I see big things for these undiscovered muzos. Go have a peek at their first gig for the new year: 02 February 2013 at Schivas Rock, Pta.

Follow them on twitter @bri6ge & check out their MySpace page:
http://www.myspace.com/597455160

*Watch this space*

Secondly there is Colli & the Rockets.

This 2 piece indie band consists of Colleen Helberg and boyfriend Thinus Pieterse (previously of the brilliant band, DiKommentaar, with that gorgeous Elandre Rheeder lad & powerful vocalist Van Wyk Brand).

Colli and the Rockets is a Jozi based Indie Band taking the local scene by storm.Their self-recorded single, Harvey, is available on Soundcloud:
https://soundcloud.com/colli-and-the-rockets/colli-and-the-rockets-harvey
Also follow them @Colli_Rockets

A bit of a different sound definitely worth checking out.

Best Randomly Invented Word - Smrinking

You know it's true, I'm a self-proclaimed literary genius.

Best Live Show - Linkin Park

I still can't get over it. Read my previous post. It was mindblowing. But I have to say I'm a little over excited about my fast approaching golden circle moments at my first ever Metallica show. I'm gonna faint.

Best Festival - Oppikoppi

Oh my gorgeous hell. I won't even start. Just go, go to Oppikoppi and be amazed.
And remember - as jy nie dans nie, is jy fokkol.

Best Movie - The Perks of being a Wallflower

Based on the tragically funny book by Stephen Chbosky. I loved this movie, for the full scale review follow this link: http://www.cinemablend.com/reviews/The-Perks-Of-Being-A-Wallflower-6011.html
Not quite as brillaint as the book, but hey no movie ever is.

Best Musical - Rock of Ages

The 80's were mind-numbingly awesome. With a star studded cast and the best music ever to accompany it, Rock of Ages is a definite must-see. With a drunkenly idiotic Tom Cruise as the famous Stacee Jaxx, he proves that he's still a great actor. My favorites though, were definitely Alec Baldwin & Russel Brand. But I ask you one thing, and one thing only: Why can every bloody actor that ever existed sing like a rockstar? It's simply not fair.
The story was a little weak, but the music made up for it tenfold.
Nonetheless, watch it, love it, hate it, I sincerely couldn't care less. I loved it, and if you have any sense you will too.

Best Indie Pop Album - Lana del Rey: Born to Die

So there's this big controversy about Lana Del Rey and how she's inauthentic and blah blah blah. Whatever. I like her music. And so I have awarded her the best Indie Pop Album of the year, mostly based on that eerie wonderful song that is 'Video Games', and kinda also 'cause I love pissing of people that think they know what there talking about, but really just want someting to poke at because Mommy took away their toys. But I digress, it's a beautiful album. Have a listen & enjoy.
The eerie wonderfulness of Video Games: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cE6wxDqdOV0

Best Rock Album - Serj Tankian: Harakiri

Harakiri is the third studio album by Serj Tankian, formerly of System of the Down (still an all-time favorite). The album was released on July 10, 2012, as a follow-up to Imperfect Harmonies, released in 2010. This album's is probably the closest to the sound of the late great System of a Down, still certifiably crazy, but a bit more punk rock - orientated. Have a gander:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQtRXqBQETA

Best Indie Rock Album - Cloud Nothings: Attack on Memory

Attack on Memory saw a change in Cloud Nothings' musical style. Contrary to their previous poppy sound, Attack on Memory is more aggressive and darker. Despite its wrist slashing depression, it's in merit a very good album. I love their darker side and hopefully you will too. My favorite of the album: Wasted Days http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6pCwReP4_k

Best Local Indie Rock Album - Desmond and the Tutus: Mnusic

Do I really need to explain this? Desmond and the Tutus is a happy-go-lucky rocky poppy indie musical mash. Combining indie, kwela, pop, rock ’n roll and sheer genius gives them a uniquely South African sound. It's dancy, nothing-can-get-me-down type of music. And its the perfect partner for smrinking. Obsessed with it. It's the wonderfully idiotic music that only our confused heritage can spit out. Yay South Africa!

Watch it. Now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RD8vW25W0Y

Best Debut - Dead Sara

Dead Sara is a hard rock band from Los Angeles, best known currently for their single "Weatherman". Listen up, girls are awesome at being rockstars, this band is awesome!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLGoeYOZ0Qs

Best Female Vocals - In this Moment: Maria Brink

Blood. That's all I'm saying. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZF5m-vmDzM

Best Drink - Jack Daniels Honey

I'm a girl. I like whiskey. I like honey. Mix them - guarunteed to make me happy. =)


And so my choices are made.
And my choices are awesome.

Now go forth and be awesome in the year of the Mcflurry xx

And then there was Linkin Park

Have you ever had that absolutely face-melting feeling? Where your heart kind of slows down to polygraph-decieving beat and you can hear it in your ears, drowning out all other noise until it's everywhere. That moment when you believe that truly you have never been more excited to be somewhere. When you feel dizzy and on the brink of crying, like the tears literally prick at your eyes and the steady pounding just gets louder. That, dear misfits, this is the sensation that so very unexpectedly hit me when Chester Bennington hit his first impossible scream at the Linkin Park show in Cape Town on Saturday.

You can say what you will oh Britney-pop idiots, usher-worshipping morons, Bieber fever disgraces.
Shake your head, you Ecstasy-popping, wall dancing, knoppie music dumbasses. And even you sirs, yes you, my lost souls of metal & rock everywhere, even you can throw your weight as you wish. But it must be said, I don't care who you are, I don't care who you think I'm supposed to be - Linkin Park is fucking awesome. Deal with it.

After a lifetime of waiting for them to hit our South African shores, I was completely overwhelmed as they mutilated the stage. Every song, every note, was a testament to my teenage angst filled childhood. The background music to my growing up was exploding only a few metres away from me. It was unbelievable.

We arrived at the stadium about 12pm, thinking that now we are so gonna get a good spot. Pfff, so much for that thought. There was already a line stretching past half the continent. And after many, and i do mean maaaaany, technical failures (ticket-check machines, wristband handouts due to said machines, etc), hours later, we finally got in. Inside, we waited, again. But waiting was fine, everyone was way to amped to care.

Finally Kongos kicked off the show with, as always, a brilliant performance. But then, oh then, out came our interesting sensation - Jack Parow. This unlikely pairing then proceeded to sing 'Come Together' by the Beatles. Yes, Kongos & Jack Parow sang the Beatles. Only in South Africa.

After their 5 songs, we waited a bit more. And then struck the horror - I needed to pee. I can assure you, never in my life have I ever ran so quickly to a loo. I wasn't even back to my spot - which was an absolute nightmare to get too, since no-one likes a 'indrukker' - when the lights dimmed, and the crowd went bonkers. At this point my absolutely mad best friend - Ms Lisa Dlamini - had somehow advanced us to the 'thirdish row' I guess you can call it? I could smell Shinoda's sweat bitches!

The set list was perfect - mixing old and new, with Chester proving that he could still scream like a fifteen-year old boy. They didn't do Crawling- but hey, if your throat felt like mine the next morning -you wouldn't mind the exclusion.

After the main leg of the show was done, we were crying, sweating, living the music. It's rather obvious that shows like this don't happen often, cause half of the people were up and leaving when the encore started. They did three more songs - I nearly died during 'In the End' - and they ended with 'Bleed it out', leaving the entire Cape Town and every one of my senses screaming for more.

I think it must be unbelievable standing on stage having the entire audience sing along every word of every song. I had goosebumps the entire time as I heard the mass of people behind me sing their hearts out. Damn I love live music.

This night of euphoria did, however, not commence without tragedy. Upon heading home we were informed of an advertising board collapsing on 20 people - leaving 19 injured and one woman sadly passed away. The culprit being the unpredictable Cape Town winds.



The woman is yet to be identified, but LP did release a statement with their condolences:

“Following our performance tonight at Cape Town Stadium, we were advised that several people were injured as a result of the collapse of an advertising tower erected by Lucozade in the parking area outside the venue.
“We wish to express our deep sadness and concern for those injured and our heartfelt condolences to the family of the fan who died as a result of her injuries.

“Though we have had no relationship with the sponsor or the entity responsible for erecting the structure, we take the safety of our fans very seriously and our thoughts are with all of those who were affected by this tragedy.”

Despite this horrible tragedy, the show was amazing & the atmosphere electric. Everyone on this earth MUST go to a Linkin Park concert at least once in their life. Period. If you don't believe me - follow these links to people that was a lot better than me at putting this expierience into words:

http://music4meez.wordpress.com/2012/11/08/linkin-park-live-in-cape-town-concert-review/

http://www.whatsonincapetown.com/post/review-linkin-park/

As I'm still regaining full use of my voice - enjoy some music that's a bit easier to sing to:

http://soundcloud.com/kongos/im-only-joking-1#new-timed-comment-at-171822


Long live teenage angst! Lei out!

5 Park Road, Richmond, Johannesburg

The nontraditional lifestyles of artists, writers, musicians, and actors. Allow me to introduce you to my quirky Joburg getaway - The Bohemian.

The Bo is my favorite spot for live music in the Joburg area. They showcase a lot of already established muzos as well as up-and-coming boys & girls trying to escape from Mommy's garage.
They also have another thing going for them that compliments my smrinking exquisitely - half price pizza on Mondays bitches! Way to turn a blue Monday into a mildish purple one.

Of all the spots I've graced with my presence I must say the Bo & Schivas are probably my favorite anti- John Deer establishments. Born as one of the first bars in Joburg, this awesome little place has really made its mark on the South African music scene. And its regulars fully embody its controversial name. But in spite of this,to my absolute devastation, the ugly little Joburg rumour-mill has raised its head with a terrfying story of the Bohemian closing down! Noooooooo. For the full horrible story follow this link:
http://another-day.co.za/the-bohemian-may-be-closing-down/

As an avid supporter of all things weird and interesting I must make a stand as to why the preservation of the Bo is so important. The crazy people that regular this gem only contribute to the pure awesomeness that is The Bohemian.

We need more places that cater for the surreality that inhabits the minds of all the kindred spirits I love & adore. The artists that take in the colours, shadows & lines. The musicians that explore the sounds, atmosphere & energy. The writers that find ideas in the people, their lives & their thoughts. The actors that, well, sit brooding in the corner wondering why these people are having fun.

This place is a breeding ground for inspiration - a sanctuary for misunderstood souls.
It's in places like these where Dali thought of melting clocks, where Hendrix saw his foxy ladies. These are the places where Hemingway wrote of his mistresses, where Van Gogh contemplated suicide & where unibrowed lovelies of the Khalo ancestry talked him out of it. These are places for art, music, all that underlines life. These are places with awesome wine at student-affordable prices.

I love these places, for we artists are rarely accepted unconditionally in this conformist world. But places like the Bo give hope to these tortured beings, hopes of comradery, freedom, and the treasure that is half-priced pizza. I urge all you young crazy people to do all in your power to save my little spot of heaven!

Go and be free, live Bohemia, and join me for a drink sometime at my favorite spot.
Long live the Bo!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=rukBFb_w2yE

Namuh Rising

You know those days when Kurt Darren is voorwaarts marching all over your eardrums & Nicholis Louw is trying to 'Rock daai Lyfie' into your brain, short circuiting all you believe in and turning you into a weeping mess wondering what happened to the music in this world. And then, before the suicidal tendencies kick in, you find a YouTube video like this:

http://www.msplinks.com/MDVodHRwOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL3dhdGNoP3Y9MkFvdUVoelFsYWc=?t=bkB1F-1xbwjJaj3HBB7PbF1SFQ0nm45NRyogWxNm1CEuR7apX9gAjUCDWxuPBykyWP1IcUzrvn_NMfCJTtMmgg


And your world makes sense again.

Namuh is a five-piece Hed PE meets ICP meets RATM mash of Rap-metalish sounds from our very own Pretoria.

Kwame Addo - Guitars/Vocals
Johan Nothnagel - Drums
Tye van Niekerk - Bass
Phenyo Kepilwe - Turntables
Apes Bubu - Keys/effects

I discovered this band very unaccidentally. Tye - the bassist - is a friend of a friend of a friend of mine & also absolutely obsessed with Pestroy according to my sources (Yeah, bitch, I have sources). Ever since I started this blog, this friend's been nagging me to write about Namuh. All the info I have of them was found on their MySpace page which is fairly outdated. Now I wonder, where are these punks at?

While we ponder this - also check out Soul.ink Tatoos on Facebook, ex Namuh -drummer's newest adventure. The guy is good! He can be found at FineLine Tatoos in Capetown I believe.

I like Namuh. Which is a big deal, since knoppie-musiek (turntables, buttons & knobs) rarely make it onto the "Shit I like" list. These punks ain't half bad. And it seems I've been enjoying my social exclusion too much - 'cause they've been around for a while. Just check out their impressive resume:

"the Rising" makes no.1 on the global battle of the bands most played artist chart. "the Rising" music video is launched on mK (2009)
"the Rising" makes no. 1 on Tuks FM metal melusia chart and simultaneously appears on every other existing TUKS chart. (2009)
Woodstock 2008
Oppikoppi 2007 Easter
2nd place finals for Battle for Woodstock(2006)Televised on MK89
1st place Demofilter competition ( Gods of Rock New Years Party 2005)

Wherever these boys are now, I wish them all the luck & beg them to update their MySpace page dammit! How are we supposed to know what's going on if they don't succumb to the consumerism of social networking?

Get on it bitches \m/(00,)\m/

Save yourself from a Kaptein induced aneurism with some real music:

http://www.myspace.com/namuhband/music/songs/hate-my-sin-mp3-86581216

Pearly's Beach =)

Langebaan is gorgeous. Especially in the early morning, the sun still sleepily peeking over the water, with the fresh sand in your toes, dragging your kite down. I love Langebaan. I love kiting. I love Pearly's. I love that even though I've been back for a week I still find sand in my shorts.

So to stop my nostalgia from taking over I decided to focus on what I missed in the world of music while I was on my holiday. To my utter dismay it would seem I missed the Rotary Battle of the bands finals. Dammit. I wanted to see how my Vryheid girl & boys are doing. But let me give you the results via theriff.co.za:

First place went to: Blacklight Panda
Second: State Society
Third: Hartbreek Revolusie (It's illegal how awesome that girl is at such a young age. Bitch.)

And then, only then, came the two bands whom I thought were a shoe in for first & second:
Bri6ge & Project Blackout.

But not to worry you wonderful idiots, atleast you're out there now. People know about you.
Random chicks with blue & purple hair blog about you in their spare time. Pretty soon all John Deer inspired hearts will quake at the sound of your names, the sand will fall right out of their shorts.

I'd post a link to their music, but I can't find Project Blackout & the recordings on Bri6ge's soundcloud page do them no justice.

But here ye, here ye, for all those taken by the smrinking monster, for all those against the capatalist ways of John Deer & for all of those who love kiting on Sunday mornings at Pearly's beach, remember their names - for one day you'll be reading alongside South-African legends as we do the stage line-up for yet another Oppi. Besides, no-one can hold a candle to the midget with the pink bass. Pure awesomeness.

 

GRRRR...

 

Now go forth and spread the gospel my children*

OBS & Rock n Roll

Sedgwick, you sly bastard. Being the smrinking queen that I am, I find myself often moved to alternate alcohols. In the winter I sometimes end up with good old OBS. These days though, I've discovered a better dose to soothe my aching winter limbs. They come in a handy little wrapper called Old Brown and the Sherries.

I once read somewhere that they described themselves as "the snorre that fell from the Beatles when they dropped acid"..or something in that line. Just that should tell you al you need to know about these mustache-obsessed rockers.

Think teenage angst thrown in a garage and given a mic to megaphone that irritating melancholic baggage out. I set my Friends on Fire minus the urge to step on cats for back-up effects. Full out garage indie punk gone godzilla. I like it. I like it alot.

Old Brown and the Sherries, 4 real-life Randfontein punks who decided not to give into the Brakpan-breker mentality that reigns in their town. I saw them perform for the first time in January last year. My second run-in was in Potch, at my darling Memphis. And, contrary to popular belief, my fascination with this band is not solely due to their totally shaggable guitarist - the very droolworthy Sias Olckers. No, it goes deeper than that. You could say they speak to your inner angry teenager, or maybe it's just good old rock n' roll. Whatever strikes your fancy, these boys are worth listening to.

Now - drumroll please, cue the tristesse of symphonic sadness and heed my sorrowful words. For all you deadset punkrockers, you blackened stains of the conventional tapestry, all the washed-out souls so dear to my heart who never knew of Old Brown and the Sherries, your chance has gone, for they are no more.The bitches broke up.

Well, ok not exactly "broke up", but they have undergone a line-up change. And my totally shaggable boy has left =(.

But we shall see how these new boys are doing soon, all the best to the newly aquired 'snorre'. For now, irritate the boere with this tune:

http://soundcloud.com/old-brown/rocker-spaniel-mp3

Keep calm and mustache on*

En ek kan nie ophou kyk nie...

Memphis. My home away from home. A glorious bar in Potchefstroom where my passion for music was fueled. Coming from a small town - not quite as John Deer as Vryheid, but I've got to admit, not far from it - I never really had a chance to discover the music SA has to offer. My total exposure was MK, and lets face it - a live show is so much different. MK introduced me to the already big musos, but Memphis allowed me to discover the unknown ones for myself. This sanctuary, a haven for all the unique freaks I love calling my kindred spirits, is where I saw his work for the first time - Sean Brand, a true living, fucking legend.

I'm going to take a short break from my smrinking to tell all you lovely people about my other passion - photography. Studying in Potch last year, I visited our lovely little gallery while a Sean Brand exhibition was on display. Being an exceptionally bad photographer, I was absolutely dumbfounded. This man is a fucking genius.

I recall one photo in particular, a moment where Francois van Coke stands still, the screaming crowd at his feet, the moving clouds painted above. Awestruck. I must have this photo. And of course I bought it then and there, took it to Kodak, blew it up to A3, & hung it centered in my small art studio. And there it hangs till this day. A constant reminder of the brilliance that is discovered in these moments, the art that is photography.

Quite something isn't it?


This photo inspired me. On my way back from campus, instead of heading to my awkwardly painted flat, I went to Game. I bought my darling Niki - a Nikon D3000 - my first camera. And there it started. I still suck uncompromisingly, but I see no end for my new-found passion. I'm addicted. Addicted to capturing moments in time. Maybe one day I'll let you see some of my work, but for now it's a private obsession.
In the not so far future when I'm being chased out of my office at the Rolling Stones South Africa building to go and attend yet another music festival with Niki in my bag, when Memphis wants to hang my pictures on their walls, maybe then I'll give you a sneak peek.

But for now I'll admire from afar as Sean Brand is living the dream. Combining my two passions - music & photography. And I hate him. Want ek kan nie ophou kyk nie.

http://soundcloud.com/sick-cindy/aint-enough

Poetry is lame..except when it's on a fridge

Death to MTV. I absolutely hate MTV. As much as I love smrinking and anti-John Deer protests, I hate MTV. Hate. H-A-T-E. I mean seriously, I couldn't care less about how fat Snooki is ( Hello Dumbass, she's pregnant). Just the fact that I know that makes me hate that channel even more. Do these people realise that MTV stands for M-U-S-I-C T-E-L-E-V-I-S-I-O-N? Morons. How do even begin to explain a lack of music on Music Television? Ugghhhhhh. So I have decided to lock my TV onto MK. Yes, you have to see a rediculous amount of Bouwer Bosch and his blonde girlfriend, but the music inbetween those moments are good. Wake up Nerds! We have an unbelievable amount of talent in this country! Just the other day as I was ready to call in a complaint for too much Bouwer on the air, the moment was saved by a clip of Oppi.

Ah my Oppi. My gorgeous hell. And on this clip was a strange sounding band with bad fashion choices. And I knew that on this clip you just had to point the camera to the audience, a bit to the right, and you'd see my multicoloured hair swinging as if I was at Headbangers Ball. I had a right to dammit. Fridge Poetry was at Oppikoppi.

I was suprised to see Fridge Poetry on the line-up. Not because they are not awesome enough to play at this dusty heaven, but because I didn't think they were that well known. I saw Fridge Poetry for the first time on stage when I went to see Old Brown and the Sherries (Oh we'll get to them in good time) in January last year.

If you're a Gogol Bordelllo fan (if your not, you'r an idiotic disgrace to the human population), you'll dig this band as their sound is just as difficult to place. It's like they couldn't decide which music genre to choose, so they did them all. Draadsitters. They are currently busy with a tour appropriately named:

THE SAVE-UP-ENOUGH-TO-RECORD-A-RAD-ALBUM-TOUR

Date	Venue	Tickets
August 31, 2012	Wits Yacht ClubWits Street Party	R30 at the venue
September 8, 2012	MocambiqueFestival of Rock	Bookings
September 20, 2012	Tanz CafeJammin’ at Tanz Cafe	R50 at the Door
December 31, 2012	Smoking DragonSmoking Dragon Festival	At the Door

Now come on, who's not going to support the bitches with a tour name like that? I'll buy a ticket to every show just because of that name. Brilliant.

Go support these wonderful idiots, I'd like to see if they make a rad video after this rad album. They'll probably put it on MK, 'cause it's too much bloody music for MTV.

Here's some wonderfully idiotic music to get you through the next episode of Bouwer & Blondie:

http://soundcloud.com/fridgepoetry/02-the-clinch

Last note: It pains me to say this, but - even though I have a Bouwer issue - I still love the first Straatligkinders album. (That physically hurt)

Peace out poetsxx

Saved by a hippie

After inspiration hit me over the head with her amazon-like Jimmy Choos, I have decided that I need to tell you about all the awesome talent that exists under our sunny skies. About all the music I've discovered while smrinking. About all the bands that, frankly darlings, you need to know about if you have any hope of keeping your closet John Deer free.

I shall start with the obvious. With my music mecca, my little piece of nirvana, my dearest Oppikoppi.

I have been an avid Oppikoppi-goer for the past 4 years, cause face it - under eighteens are deprived of so many joyous things, and thus I had to wait my turn, until finally - Oppikoppi Smoorverlief.
You don't know until you've been there. You will never understand until you have experienced this dusty, thorny, dirty, horrible weekend. It will be the best weekend of your life. Period.

I've been smoorverlief, I've had sexy.crooked.teeth, I've met my unknown brothers and I've tasted sweet things. And I still feel deprived.

What incredible genius came up with this concept?
Pietie (probably high as hell, fresh from woodstock): "I'm going to start a commune, on a koppie. And dub it Oppikoppi (clever, clever), and invite 20000 of my closest friends. But what about the beer? Not enough beer. I got it! I'll deprive them of toilets & showers so they'll go home in three days. Yes. Yes. Muahaha."

And so started a South African music institution. Who said Society doesn't benefit from high people?

I will not describe my Oppikoppi to you, because you just won't get it. All I can say is wet wipes, wet wipes, wet wipes. And all you kinderd spirits that have experienced this dirty hell are sitting their with all-knowing smirks on your faces, because what happens at Oppi, stays at Oppi. Unless your watching the MK special with your mother a week later and up pops your identical twin from Scandinavia with bloodshot eyes drunkenly slurring "Oppifokkenkoppi!"
Mom, meet Svetlana.

Last note - Keep your closet anti- John Deer with the following tune:

Old Brown and the Sherries - Old Brown and the Seventies
http://www.myspace.com/oldbrownandthesherries/music/songs/old-brown-and-the-seventies-82503194


Enjoyxx

From the Underground

I absolutely love music. More than I love smoking. More than I love wine. Even more than I love them combined. If someone should invent a glass, that enables you to swallow gorgeous Merlot while simultaneously inhaling a beautifully crafted Piet Blou, that might come close to music, but only very nearly.

I recently visited a very boring, very dead - like night of the living zombies (without the actual awesomeness of zombies) - dead, town in Kwa-Zulu Natal called Vryheid. Yes, Vryheid. And as you can imagine, said town was filled with John Deer pampoenboer types, people who can't get over high school and - probably the worst - people in high-school. On that fateful night, I, for some unexplicable reason only God knows, ended up in a very pampoenboerish dodge nigchtclub kind of place ironically named 'Huistoe'. After having to listen to aforementioned high-schoolers making the hilarious joke of: "Kom ons gaan huistoe.", over and over again, a band was anounced. Mmm, unknown band in unknown town. I like it.

This band was called Bri6ge. Like bridge 6, only cooler. They weren't half bad for a small town garage band. Heaven only knows how they kept at it with the people in that town, who it seems are still living in the 1920's or something where my darling rock 'n roll was not appreciated. So much less even hard rock or metal. But alternative they were, and I was impressed.

It's been about two weeks or so, and what would you know, while I was still pondering my genuis invention of a smrink glass (see how clever i am) at The Shack in the Vaal this evening, it would seem that this very same band would participate in the annual Rotary Battle of the Bands. Well, well, it would seem they're not so stuck in that town after all.

Now, their previous show was ok, but tonight they were going at it like mad monkeys. I mean, seriously, who knew that boy could scream like that? Damn. Well done. And the pretty lil' bass player had all the boys jumping of course, as only us awesome female musicians can accomplish.
Though it was still early, and thus the crowd still a bit iffy, they held their own and put on quite a show! Cudos to you for showing us that more than John Deer khaki'd boertjies can come from your sleepy little town. Definitely a band to keep an eye on.

I won't forget the other musically gifted of course. Though not as hardcore as my personal favorite, but solid bands nonetheless. I congratulate I Like Lucy (you sassy bastards), City Monks and Project Blackout on awesome shows and great energy. Keep a lookout for all of them, well worth seeing.

Some awesome talent tonight, which only makes me wonder - what other musical gems are hiding in the underground scenes of our small towns? Mmm, I'll keep you posted xx

 PS: How cool is that bass?