Shane Durrant should narrate my life

MK Awards 2013. Ah yes, that time of year we've all been waiting for. If only to see how savvy our music taste is. So this year I thought I'd mix it up and actually go.

Except for spending the night with all my favorite muzos, there was also free tequila, so that kinda made up for them plastering Hyundai on my face at every turn. I mean seriously, don't you think the car on the stage was a bit much dears? But nevertheless, it faded to the background every now and then when it just could not overpower the awesomeness on stage.

And as you've probably heard from EVERYONE in the world by now: Shane Durrant is the fat fucking poo. He should just go ahead and present any and all shows in the future. This confused little hobo did his whole speech in a mondrone voice similar to that of my high school math teacher, to the absolute panty-dropping delight of the social media.
I vote he presents next year's entire awards ceremony. Those of you who do not agree: die.

Throughout this night of skinny jean glam, we were treated to a few live performances:

-Bittereinder, who was also the night's DJ

-Bouwer Bosch and Jaco van der Merwe

-ISO (formerly Isochronous) who killed it, of course. It's the lights I tell you!

-Spoegwolf

-Tailor: Okay pause. This lady you need to keep an eye on, her vocal performance is fucking mad. And she also beat the conniving shit out of a drum, which - if you believe in early glam rock - is always a plus.

- Van Coke Kartel: It's not even worth it. It's all been said. Just humbly sit in awe.

-The Black Cat Bones: This might be the greatest live band I've ever seen. And I've seen some awesome shit.

So the results were pretty predictable, which some may say is boring, but I think that just proves that all of South Africa are smart little bitches when it comes to music. We picked the obvious winners, and since we're on the subject: Can we ban Van Coke kartel from the awards in the future? No offence boys, we love you, but damn, there's just no competition when you're involved.

I know you already have all the results, but for those of you spending time under rocks in your mother's garden, here they are again:

• Best Newcomer: Gangs of Ballet - Hello Sweet World. I voted Goodnight Wembley, I gotta be honest. But nonetheless, well deserved. Keep two eyes on these boys. Better than Coldplay? Potentially...

• Best Group: Van Coke Kartel - Dis 'n land. And so it starts.

• Best Solo: Jeremy Loops - Howling. There's a good boy, now run along and take over the world.

• Best SFX/Animation: Haezer ft. Lark

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-f7K5yIKb0

• Best Dance: Johnny Neon - Hearts. It cost R15 to make this video. Epic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZcrILciHNI

• Best Rock: Van Coke Kartel - Dis 'n Land. Strike 2.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGdSyK81-U0

• Best Indie: Shortstraw - One Long Day. I think it was their RAMfest show that sealed it for me.

• Best Live Act: The Black Cat Bones. There was no competition. There could be no other.

• Best SA Music Festival: Oppikoppi 2012. Bahahaha. I told you. Idiot.

• Best Video: Van Coke Kartel - Tot die Son Uitkom. Strike three, you're out!

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_0vjii3oD4

• I would like to add an award that was somehow overlooked: Best Presenter: Shane Durrant. Yes. It had to be done.
 

So the end of the Van Coke Awards have come and gone. I had a drunken good time. Hopefully next year we'll see more of our upcoming geniuses there.

Once again I'm astonished at the amount of talent we have in our little part of the world. I'm going to quote excruciatingly talented photog, christelle Duvenage: "...gosh darnit! SA bands! You guys are tattoos on my heart!"

And end embarrassing display of affection =).

Now I'm off too Splashy, I'll inform you on my get highs and piss offs as soon as I return. Wish me luck bonnies & bastards, this weekend's gonna be a wet one!

Peace

Noodles & green beer

After an interesting Up the Creek, a mind-blowing Ramfest & a green beer induced streak across campus to cellphones pulsing Flogging Molly, I have come to the realization that my Irish heritage combined with an unhealthy obsession over South African music is the reason for my mental unruliness. It is also my (very legitimate, might I add) reason for being flat broke all the fucking time. Why, you might ask, do I endure months on end of two minute noodles? And not even Maggie two minute noodles, oh no, those are for the rich poor students. I'm talking Pick n Pay no name R1.99 two minute noodles. Which, by the fucking way, takes THREE fucking minutes to fucking microwave.

I do it for the music my dears. We all do it for the music.

So, if all of you are as obsessed as me, you're probably just as broke as I am by now. March was brutal. It's like the whole South African music industry decided hey, lets make a bunch of unmissable festivals & shows, price them all into the sky, put them all in the same month & see how many packets of noodles Leila is willing to eat. For the music my babe. For the music.

I guess i'm being a bit dramatic, 'cause despite all the starch, I got to do some awesome things. I got to bask in the glory of Bring me the Horizon. I got to scream my lungs out with Rise Against. I got to park on the grass next to Tamara Dey at RiseShineFest. I got to enjoy Park Acoustics many a time. I, for the first time ever, was quick enough to score an earlybird ticket for Oppikoppi. I get to go to Splashy. I get to go to the MK Awards. I, dear adorable bastards, get to do a shitload of things just because I'm willing to live off noodles.

Except for all the obviously awesome things that did and are happening this month, allow me to inform you of a few you most probably didn't even know of (shame on you):

Bri6ge, that quite awesome band I keep telling you about, have confirmed the rumors floating about that they will be recording their debut album in the next few months. Well well, looks like the new manager have these kids on the fast track. Well done, have some noodles.

Buckshot, a Durban-based band I have yet to actually hear (I have only heard of), played their first gig at Harlequins on the Bluff on 18 March. I would love to hear some feedback, cause all my 'source' can say is that the frontman had the voice of a drunken angel. I think she has a little crush. So she is stricken from the record. I need an objective opinion. Any takers? I'll give you some noodles.

And now skanks and pervs, the main event: You remember a while back I posted a lil' something about a defunct band called Old Brown and the Sherries? Well, joined by Chris Kennedy and Matt van Damme, the vocalist, Hugene Kokemoer and guitarist, Sias Olckers have now reemerged in a new outfit called The Barking Trees.


(I stole the pic from atonal magazine, I'm sure Faf won't mind.)

Sexy bitches aren't they?
And this is why you MUST get your unpolished asses to the Boh on 22nd March.. I'll be the drunken loud one being restrained by the popo. I will be forced to hate you if you don't show. Now don't expect to find Old Brown in there, this sound is very different. It's still got Hugene's teenage angst vocals, but the boys seem to have calmed down a bit. Or am I rudely mistaken? Well, we'll see on Friday now won't we. So come have a gander at my fave lil' pub and decide for yourselves. Maybe u likey, maybe you don't. Maybe you'll only come to enjoy the sight of that undeniably shaggable Sias, I really can't judge. Wink.


I bet you all three these bands have lived off no-name brand noodles at some point in their lives. Hell, I bet Metallica lived of noodles once upon a time. See? I'm right on track to becoming immortal. Bow before me infidels.

Now if you'll excuse me, it's 3:48 in the morning, and I have some fucking bad-ass noodles to make.