Shane Durrant should narrate my life

MK Awards 2013. Ah yes, that time of year we've all been waiting for. If only to see how savvy our music taste is. So this year I thought I'd mix it up and actually go.

Except for spending the night with all my favorite muzos, there was also free tequila, so that kinda made up for them plastering Hyundai on my face at every turn. I mean seriously, don't you think the car on the stage was a bit much dears? But nevertheless, it faded to the background every now and then when it just could not overpower the awesomeness on stage.

And as you've probably heard from EVERYONE in the world by now: Shane Durrant is the fat fucking poo. He should just go ahead and present any and all shows in the future. This confused little hobo did his whole speech in a mondrone voice similar to that of my high school math teacher, to the absolute panty-dropping delight of the social media.
I vote he presents next year's entire awards ceremony. Those of you who do not agree: die.

Throughout this night of skinny jean glam, we were treated to a few live performances:

-Bittereinder, who was also the night's DJ

-Bouwer Bosch and Jaco van der Merwe

-ISO (formerly Isochronous) who killed it, of course. It's the lights I tell you!

-Spoegwolf

-Tailor: Okay pause. This lady you need to keep an eye on, her vocal performance is fucking mad. And she also beat the conniving shit out of a drum, which - if you believe in early glam rock - is always a plus.

- Van Coke Kartel: It's not even worth it. It's all been said. Just humbly sit in awe.

-The Black Cat Bones: This might be the greatest live band I've ever seen. And I've seen some awesome shit.

So the results were pretty predictable, which some may say is boring, but I think that just proves that all of South Africa are smart little bitches when it comes to music. We picked the obvious winners, and since we're on the subject: Can we ban Van Coke kartel from the awards in the future? No offence boys, we love you, but damn, there's just no competition when you're involved.

I know you already have all the results, but for those of you spending time under rocks in your mother's garden, here they are again:

• Best Newcomer: Gangs of Ballet - Hello Sweet World. I voted Goodnight Wembley, I gotta be honest. But nonetheless, well deserved. Keep two eyes on these boys. Better than Coldplay? Potentially...

• Best Group: Van Coke Kartel - Dis 'n land. And so it starts.

• Best Solo: Jeremy Loops - Howling. There's a good boy, now run along and take over the world.

• Best SFX/Animation: Haezer ft. Lark

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-f7K5yIKb0

• Best Dance: Johnny Neon - Hearts. It cost R15 to make this video. Epic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZcrILciHNI

• Best Rock: Van Coke Kartel - Dis 'n Land. Strike 2.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGdSyK81-U0

• Best Indie: Shortstraw - One Long Day. I think it was their RAMfest show that sealed it for me.

• Best Live Act: The Black Cat Bones. There was no competition. There could be no other.

• Best SA Music Festival: Oppikoppi 2012. Bahahaha. I told you. Idiot.

• Best Video: Van Coke Kartel - Tot die Son Uitkom. Strike three, you're out!

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_0vjii3oD4

• I would like to add an award that was somehow overlooked: Best Presenter: Shane Durrant. Yes. It had to be done.
 

So the end of the Van Coke Awards have come and gone. I had a drunken good time. Hopefully next year we'll see more of our upcoming geniuses there.

Once again I'm astonished at the amount of talent we have in our little part of the world. I'm going to quote excruciatingly talented photog, christelle Duvenage: "...gosh darnit! SA bands! You guys are tattoos on my heart!"

And end embarrassing display of affection =).

Now I'm off too Splashy, I'll inform you on my get highs and piss offs as soon as I return. Wish me luck bonnies & bastards, this weekend's gonna be a wet one!

Peace